The seven deadly sins of the sixth century are joined now by seven more deadly sins compliments of the twenty-first century.  In case Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, and Pride were not enough to keep you on your toes these sins are now joined by

1.    Bioethical violations such as birth control

2.   Morally dubious experiments such as stem cell research

3.   Drug Abuse and Trafficking

4.   Polluting the environment

5.   Contributing to the widening divide between the rich and poor

6.   Excessive wealth

7.   Creating poverty

By my calculations the entire world is going to hell in a handbasket.  In my humble (and non prideful opinion) I think my modern day version of the seven deadly sins vies the pope’s list any day.    

1.    Human trafficking.  More than 800,000 men, women, and children are smuggled across international borders annually to be sold into indentured servitude and sexual exploitation.

2.   Proliferation of unnecessary war.  So long George W. We will look down on you from our golden perches in heaven.

3.   Creating genocide.  This sin applies both to the individuals and governments who proliferate genocide to “cleanse” a community as well as the individuals and governments who choose to ignore the intentional destruction of a national, ethnic, racial, or religious group because it does not affect them.  

4.   Polluting the environment.  This is one that the big P and I can agree on.  Destroying the environment for future generations should be met with eternal damnation.  Oil companies beware, you can laugh your way to the bank now but that money will only fuel the icy fires of the ninth circle of hell.  

5.   Recruiting children into destructive lifestyles.   This is an inclusive category for those who manipulate children and alter their lives so irrevocably that they are unable to lead a normal life.  Child soldiers, child molestation, and the recruitment of children into gangs and invariably drug use and trafficking.

6.   Violence against women.  Violence against women and girls represents a global health, economic development, and human rights problem of epidemic proportions and cuts across all countries, social groups, ethnicities, religions, and socioeconomic classes.  

7.   Torture.  Hooding, waterboarding, falanga, mock execution, electrocution, isolation, the death penalty, etc are all elements of human torture to meet an individual or political agenda.  

Perhaps I should become a Catholic.  I can be vengeful and wrathful with the best of them.

An addendum as suggested by singular girl’s mother: Violence against animals including any type of cock fighting, dog fighting, seal clubbing, or puppy kicking. There is a special place in hell for those who choose to hurt defenseless animals… let’s just say you don’t want to go there.

Despite my earnest intentions to forego any possible activity that might remotely require me to learn any of Emily Post’s tips to proper manners somehow I ended up in a four hour course of “Professional Skills: Business Etiquette, Attire and Dining Savvy”.  Though I managed to avoid cotillion in middle school, debutante season in college, and most recently Junior League… my job recently required me to take part in a never-ending course which ran the gamut from learning to correctly shake hands, how to properly fold a napkin, to being told that cutoff shorts and sandals are NOT appropriate professional attire.  I suppose that is the peril to working for a nonprofit organization in which one has to interact with donors on a daily basis.  For some crazy reason they want to ensure that I put my best foot forward when asking for that $100,000 gift.  Just a few tidbits I picked up in the class:

1. Be sincere and take a genuine interest in others… [hmmm, that’s going to be difficult to do.  Especially as my first though is "wow, how much did they pay for that facelift?  I hope that won’t affect their annual fund gift this year!]

2. Makeup should be natural looking… they should remember you, not your eye shadow [I agree with this rule though it is unfortunate that palsied hands is the cause for unforgiving makeup]

3. When finished with your meal place your fork and knife at 10 with the handles at 4 [I always thought that licking the plate clean indicated that you were done with the meal] 

I can’t wait to put my learnin’ to action.  I’m sure my donors will appreciate my newly acquired skills.  Emily Post, eat your heart out.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

Apparently Lou Pearlman, creator of such insipid pop hits as Tearin’ Up My Heart, God Must Have Spent a Little More Time On You, and Let’s Have A Party has been having his own party at investors’ expense.  Pearlman defrauded individuals and corporations of millions of dollars for more than 20 years.  If only I had known that around the corner from every pop sensation was a sleazy businessman waiting to defraud innocent victims.  Oh wait, I did know that.  Ok, folks, what about this man doesn’t scream, “I’m a sleazy businessman waiting to siphon millions from your one-hit-wonder success?”

Apparently I chose the wrong profession.  I don’t know why I thought helping others was more important than helping myself.  So new life plan-


day 1: start a boy band with pretty twenty-something boys who can hold a tune and shuffle their feet while looking soulfully into the eyes of prepubescent girls.  


day 2: record a cd with such hit wonders as “Oh, Girl, You’re The One. Oh. Oh.” and “You Put the Whoop in My Whoop De Do”.  


day 3: begin raking in the millions and slowly siphon off hundreds of thousands dollars. 


day 4: buy a hummer to stick it to those damn environmentalists who think preserving human life is more important than style.

Hmm, this isn’t as hard as I thought.  Who needs morals when you have money?

Ok, folks… for those of you who are observant my last post [now deleted] indicated that I have a new blog. However, apparently, I somehow managed to upset the sensitivities of the blogosphere, within 24 hours mind you, and my lovely website was deleted… Did the kind folks at Amagama bother to tell me that they deleted it? NO. Did they bother to tell me why they deleted it? NO. 

My best guess is that they don’t appreciate an individual’s right to free speech and therefore do not deserve my blogging business. As the only thing that might have been construed as offensive was the word "bitch" in the context of "bitch is the new black" or my witty political satire they obviously have been taking lessons in the obstruction of free speech from the Chinese government. Therefore, my new blog will now reside at SingularGirl [dot] Blogetery [dot] Com. Let’s see how long it takes them to repress my civil rights.

The countdown to Super Tuesday is at its end, the votes are in, and Texas voters are anxiously holding their breath to learn which Democratic candidate will fight their way to a national platform… as I write this, Obama and Clinton are neck to neck within hundreds of votes of each other… I guess this is what power feels like… knowing that my vote ACTUALLY counts.  It’s enough to make me wring my hands, toss my head back, and laugh maniacally.  

After weeks of internal debates raging in my head I managed to decide which candidate was worthy of my vote and set out to my local polling location.  Or so I thought.  I started my day with a plan which inevitably went awry yet I was determined to make my mark in a historical Texas primary.  My first visit to my local polling location was uneventful as I parked and mused to myself, “Hmmm, not many cars here, I guess I’ll be in and out quickly!” I rifled through my purse only to find that I did not have my license, an integral part of the voting process.  Yet, not a problem, my voter registration card was a mere two-minute drive away tucked into my desk drawer at home.  After a brief return trip home I was back at my friendly polling place.  I walked up to the door only to find a white sheet of copy paper taped to the window with the following message scratched in black ink: “Polling location moved to elementary school across from the bank.”  

 Ok, slightly inconvenient to change the polling location with no prior indication however the new location was only a few blocks away.  As I parked across the street from the local elementary school I realized that indeed more cars meant a longer wait and ever prepared, I brought a book.  Fortunately I did not have to wait in the long lines that other voters were dealing with across the city however I did have a confrontation with a snotty pollster who thought berating me for not knowing my voting district number was the best way to ensure return voters.  Upon the completion of my ballot I basically snatched the caucus information from her fingers.  Rather than informing every voter of their legal right to caucus our friendly pollster was picking and choosing whom she would “invite” to return to the polls.  Fortunately, as a well informed citizen I was having none of that.   I only had a couple of hours to kill before caucusing began… a quick hour and a half of television and back to the polling location I would go.  If only sleep hadn’t thwarted my plan.  

So there you have it folks.  I shirked my duties as an American voter to caucus this evening for a mere two hours of sleep.  The horror, the horror!  Now I must cross my fingers and hope that other non-sleep deprived individuals did their civic duty and caucused in my absence.