Apparently I can’t catch a break.  I went to the pharmacist early this week to pick up a prescription and ask about some funny little bumps on my mouth.  I thought it might be a side effect from a new prescription I started taking a couple of weeks ago.  The pharmacist peered at me, shook his head, and said "Nope, that’s a cold sore.  Try some Abreva."  I, on the other hand, did not believe him, as I have never had a cold sore and replied, "Are you sure it’s not a side effect from my current prescription?"  To which he responded, "Yep, positive.  The Abreva is on Aisle 4." However, I persisted, "Are you absolutely sure, because I’ve never had a cold sore in my entire life… EVER… this must be a side effect."  To which he looked me squarely in the eye and said, "No. It. Is. Not. A. Side. Effect. Of. Your. Medication.  Are you at all stressed?  This may have triggered the cold sore."  I had no comeback, as it was abundantly clear that stress was the cause to the little bumpy mess that had taken up residence on my lips. So off to Aisle 4 I went to pick up the Abreva and go on my merry way but unfortunately is not the end of my medical mystery.  

I woke up yesterday to notice swelling around my left eye, I thought it might just be a slight issue with my contacts since I slept in them the night before.  Who am I kidding, I slept in them the last 2 weeks and I thought it was contact karma finally reaping vengeance for not putting in fresh new contacts.  However, my eye itself was not red, just the outside of the eye, as though someone had sucker-punched me and left me with a nice big red shiner.  After hours of trying to come up with a plausible explanation I’ve come up with two.

A) An allergic reaction.  I’ve been cat-sitting for my parents and although I’m not allergic to cats I think somehow their cat managed to spit in my eye while I slept therefore causing my eye to reject the foreign substance that seeped into my eye hole.  Although it sounds highly implausible the cat does have a tendency to drool when she is purring.  Therefore my theory is that she approached me while I was sleeping, rubbed her drooly purr-box against me, splattered her drool against my face, which landed in my eye.  

B) Voodoo.  I carefully examined the swelling and it appears that the swelling radiates evenly from all areas unlike any other type of swelling (i.e. bug bite).  And, my boss doesn’t like me.  I’m convinced that she goes home at night and has a voodoo doll of me that she sticks tiny pins to inflict pain.  It would explain so much…  If only I could one day return the favor…