Reunion of False Reality
For the past six months I have received multiple email requests from "Reunions are Us" reminding me that my High School Reunion is this summer and
- will I be attending?
- am I attending?
- why am I not attending?
- I should be attending!
- everyone’s attending and I’m going to miss it!
- it’s going to be just like high school and if I don’t go I’ll wish I would have gone and don’t I want to see everyone that I wish I was friends with but never spoke to for the two years that I was suffered through senior high school with them?
And yet, here I am. Two days after my reunion and somehow I managed to survive without attending. I can’t say the same for the suckers on Facebook though. I swear, if I read another wall post that says "Let’s not wait ’til 2018 peeps! Who’s down for drinks this weekend!?!" I’ll throw up a little more in my mouth.
I truly cannot understand the appeal of standing in a room with hundreds of individuals whom you have not seen in years telling them about your awesome job and stellar new Hummer and how you can’t wait to go to Telluride later this summer and pick up some smokin’ hot snowbunnies… blah, blah, blah, blah, blegh.
Of course, that may be due to the fact that I don’t like people. I don’t like people and I don’t want to talk to them about their wonderful life and I don’t want to see a picture of their adorable two-year-old daughter who looks just like Princess Diana. I’m here to tell you that although your child does look like a British icon; she bears more of a striking resemblance to a drug-addled Billy Idol than Princess Di. But don’t worry, either way, I’m sure she’ll have a white wedding.
This may be why I don’t leave the house. And why I have few friends. That’s okay. I have a cat. And a computer. And my sarcastic wit. I’ll be fine.
