Morning People are the Bane of My Existence
After two mornings in which I rose at the ungodly hour of 5 am to drag myself to yoga in an effort to better myself whilst on vacay I realized that there is a bizarre sub-species of humans that refer to themselves as "Morning People" that inhabit the earth between the hours of 5 and 9 am. These are the hours in which I am the least likely to be functional and I am therefore likely to beat you with my water bottle if you address me in your chipper voice with the following statement; "Good morning! Are you enjoying your day yet? It looks like you had a good workout this morning!"
As these individuals are clearly a minority group in the population they should be subjected to my whims and desires to be left alone at such hours. If you would like to speak to me please note that I am available between the hours of 10 am and 9 pm. However, should you approach me or attempt to speak to me outside this timeframe, i.e. 6 am, please note that you are risking your own life as I am
A) capable of starting my morning off with a personal game of Frogger in which I will mow down said Morning People for a 100 points a pop just to see their smiling faces looking up at me from the pavement.
B) willing to join the Evil League of Evil simply to create a new and awful way to torment said Morning People.
This now concludes the public service announcement. You may go about your regularly scheduled day.
