Death sucks.  Unfortunately, we will all cease to exist as the hands of time march on.  But rather than focus on my inevitable demise I thought I would take a cheery perspective on death and share with you some of the things that I would like to accomplish before I kick the bucket.

1.  Visit all 7 continents.  Five down, two to go.  I just have to stowaway aboard a plane to Chile and then hop a cruise to Antarctica.  

2.  Skydive.  This is very likely the easiest way to bring about my inevitable demise.  As the earth rushes towards my face I hope I remember to open the parachute… maybe I’ll save this goal for last as it’s hard to complete the rest of the list if you are pancaked to Mother Earth.   

3.  Visit the wonders of the world including the Great Pyramid of Giza, Stonehenge, the Colosseum, Great Wall of China, Hagia Sophia, Leaning Tower of Pisa, Taj Mahal, CN Tower, Empire State Building, Golden Gate Bridge, Machu Picchu, Victoria Falls, Polar Ice Caps, Great Barrier Reef, Maya ruins, the Northern Lights, and the Amazon Rain Forest.  

I have already checked the Colosseum, Great Wall of China, and the Great Barrier Reef off of the list.  Unfortunately, due to my poor sense of direction and a Hitleresque tour guide I was left behind in Florence at the age of 15 while my friends visited the Leaning Tower of Pisa.  Alas, I suppose I will have to return to Italy to see Pisa in all of its glory.  

4.  Become fluent in a third language.  Let me clarify, not a "dead" language- because it sucks to have to talk only to yourself and the voices in your head.  I already speak/read English, French, and Latin- however, if I can’t use the skill to ask "where is the bathroom?", "how do I get to the bar?", or toss out inappropriate come-on lines then it doesn’t really count.   

5.  Learn to dance.  As a child I learned ballet, in college I learned to swing dance, and in my twenties I learned to belly dance.  Despite the fact that I have absolutely no rhythm I plan to shake my booty- bring on the tango, waltz, and foxtrot.  

6.  Travel the world.  My passport is primed and ready to go to Greece, India, Egypt, Morocco, Philippines, New Zealand, Chile, Argentina, Cuba and Tibet.  Just to name a few.  

7.  Read more books.  My bookshelf looks like a graveyard of books that I have read, plan to read, or partially read.  Therefore at some point I will make a concerted effort to read every single book that I own (and more).  

8.  Write a novel.  One day the voices in my head will inform me of the great satiric novel that I must write and all will be revealed.

9.  Move to another country.  Despite my concerted effort to leave the land of Bush there is some unknown tether holding me hostage.  Now that W. has declared my city his hometown I am ready to pack my bags and leave the city of my birth and the state of my being.   

10.  Take a photography class.  Because there are not enough photogs in the world.  

11.  Be happy with the things that I can control and let go of the things that I cannot control.  Repeat with me, I cannot control my crazy boss, I cannot control my crazy boss…

12.  Meet Nelson Mandela.  And Desmond Tutu.  And Stephen Hawking.  And the Dalai Lama. And Ira Glass.  Ok, I’ve already met Ira Glass and it was pretty fabulous.     

13.  Cultivate a meaningful relationship.  I do not want to be a cat lady forever and would like to eventually meet a guy who will put up with my sarcasm and tacky wit.  And maybe someone who will cook, clean, and bow to my every whim.  I’m sure he’s out there somewhere. 

14.  Say yes to leaving my comfort zone.  I did it once in college and ended up at a small town roller rink with 10 year old girls threatening to throw down with me in the parking lot.  I survived that baffling ordeal so perhaps I could survive it again.  

15.  Work for an international human rights agency.  I plan to make a difference in the lives of others, change the world, garner peace in the Middle East, and win a Nobel Peace Prize.  Ok, a bit much- maybe I’ll just change one or two people’s lives for the better.  I want to have some grateful people at my funeral that do not curse my existence.  

16.  Intergalactic travel.  Maybe I’ve watched too much Doctor Who but I plan to travel space and time in a blue police-box.  Did you hear that Doctor?  I’m ready whenever you are!

17.  Enter a tofu dog eating contest.  Because you haven’t experienced life unless you’re shoving handfuls of tofu dogs in your mouth hoping your stomach doesn’t explode. 

18.  Swim with the manatees.  Everyone wants to swim with the dolphins, but they ignore the poor manatees, the cow of the sea.  I would like to swim up to a manatee and sing "Barbara Manatee (Manatee Manatee) you are the one for me (one for me, one for me) sent from up above (up above, up above) you are the one I love (one I love, one I love)… 

19.  Quit my job.  If only to see the look of utter terror on their faces when they realize that they are going to have to find another whipping girl.  Mwah, hah, hah.

20.   Invent a holiday and celebrate every year.  If Hallmark can do it, why can’t I?  

"Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow." Mahatma Gandhi