It’s a Festivus Miracle!
Are you tired of the holiday doldrums? Are you sick of the commercialization of the Christmas celebration? Just say NO to retailers this year, put down that Tickle Me Elmo and Polly Pocket, and throw away the Christmas tree. Your kids don’t need another toy, they need the Festivus spirit!
Festivus is the one time of year you can tell your friends and family how they have disappointed you this past year with the annual Airing of the Grievances. Did your children perform below par at school? Did your parents harass you mercilessly to make more of your life? Now is the time to tell them how you really feel.
If you haven’t alienated all of your family members by the end of the Festivus feast you have the Feats of Strength to look forward too. This is an excellent way to take out all of the pent up aggression accumulated during the meal as Festivus only ends once the head of household is pinned to the floor.
So, make this season about the Festivus spirit, buy yourself an aluminum pole, and celebrate a low maintenance holiday. It requires no decoration, you know, because tinsel is distracting.
Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.
Cosmo Kramer: What happened to the doll?
Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born: a Festivus for the rest of us!
