How To Make Friends and Influence People
Who would have thought that little blue pills would make their way into the CIA arsenal? Not I. Of course my CIA experience is purely based on Jennifer Garner and Victor Garber’s interpretation a la Alias. So therefore kicking ass and taking names must be how the CIA operates. Yet, I recently learned that my hard-ass friends at the CIA are going soft, both figuratively and literally. Rather than the normal politicking required of the average CIA agent they added Viagra to their inventory, compliments of Uncle Sam, to aid in their quest to make friends and influence people.
Wow. How can a terrorist or Afghan chieftan say no to the requests of the CIA when they have a magic pill that will allow them to have sex for hours! Clearly the U.S. is behind the ball on this one. By my guesstimation, Viagra was invented in the early 1990s and was available for consumer consumption in 1998. We have had this secret in our back pocket for years without taking proper advantage of the situation. Achmedinejad causing a ruckus? Hand him this little blue pill to keep him out of our hair. Robert Mugabe imposing imperialism on the people of Zimbabwe? Crack open a bottle of viagra and throw a party.
This plot is genius! Why did we not think of this sooner? I figure we could have avoided a number of conflicts and wars with this miracle pill if only we had leashed its positive powers sooner. I suppose the CIA is finally beginning to embrace the hippies "make love, not war" theory to head off future wars in Afghanistan. Quite the change in heart, eh, Uncle Sam?
Do I smell a Nobel Peace Prize for our hardworking friends at the CIA? Michael Hayden would be proud.
Great. Now I’ve got “Viva, Viagra!” running thru my head!
Comment by JD at I Do Things — December 28, 2008 @ 12:13 pm
Thanks! Now it is running through my head as well!
Comment by singulargirl — December 28, 2008 @ 12:55 pm