Ok, I get it.  Obama is awesome.  Despite my lack of proximity within the past 8 months I hear he walks on water; he must if he is winning a Nobel Peace Prize after less than a year in office. 

I’m sure no one is jumping to conclusions and ASSUMING he is going to solve all of the world’s problems – like nuclear disarmament and peace in the Middle East.  Just because we have been dealing with those pesky issues for decades I’m sure he will have it figured out by the end of his first term in office… if not by then, at least by his second- that’s when everything gets done anyways. 

And, Zimbabwean Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai, I mean, what’s he done lately?  Other than ensuring that Zimbabwe doesn’t break into civil war by powersharing with megalomaniac President Mugabe while helping stabilize their rollercoaster economy… Who needs a Nobel Peace Prize for actual achievement when you can get one for your intentions? 

I hear that Miss America wants world peace; does that qualify her for a Nobel Peace Prize now?  

For your reading pleasure I thought I would share some "interesting" moments in my fellow Peace Corps volunteers’ daily lives. Voila…

There are horrifying things you are forced to do in life, which are regretful but you move on as you know you made the right decision and would do it again should the situation arise. Then there are things that you pretend never happened, you sweep them under the rug, and pray to God no one finds out.  This is the latter.

“Tess” joined Peace Corps with stars in her eyes and visions of mud huts in her heart.  However, life in the “bush” was not as anticipated as she moved into her first African home infested with a nest of lively bats.  Frequently she returned home to find her floors decorated in guano and her frustration mounted as the bats taunted her from overhead. 

As the infestation continued Tess’ tolerance decreased dramatically and she tired her thumbs SMSing fellow PCVs sharing her batty woes.  Then came the fateful day when Tess returned home to find an errant bat flying through her house.  Tess, suspecting a hostile takeover was in the works, did the first thing that came into her head.  She grabbed a Tupperware container, chased the creature, and captured him in a plastic prison.  Completely logical, neh?

Those of you who would like to think that Tess released the bat back into the wild so it could continue its fruitful existence should stop reading here.  Really, you’ve been warned… I wouldn’t want to tarnish your image of peace and puppy loving volunteers. 

Rather, Tess, a carnivore by nature decided against the PETA friendly route and chose the Gitmo course.  Despite the bat’s muffled protests Tess waited for its untimely demise to unfold in its miniature holding cell.  Or so she thought. 

Tess awoke the next morning to find that the strong willed bat held on through the night and was flapping weakly in the Tupperware container, praying for a miracle.  A dilemma was mounting, should she release the half dead animal and allow it to nurse its way back to health and perhaps back into her ceiling? 

No, she thought, perseverance is key… and defiantly dragged the objecting creature to work to solicit the advice of her colleagues on how to murder a bat.  Fortunately, Tess’ was in luck, her colleague expertly manhandled the animal into a plastic bag and tossed the bag in the garbage to ensure suffocation.  Clearly she was no novice. 

As one less bat infested Tess’ home, she returned to work without a care in the world.  However, her joy was short lived as she learned that she upset her colleague.  What’s more upsetting than murder on a Monday morning?  Apparently throwing away the Tupperware coffin.  TIA. 

Thus ends another day in the life of a PCV living in a shame spiral. 

P.S. This might be a good time to add that BJ is still alive and well as I’ve heard chiseling noises coming from the ceiling.  It can only mean one thing; BJ grew opposable thumbs, found a tiny pickaxe and is trying to chisel his way out of his prison.  Additionally, I blocked the hole in the ceiling with another rag to prevent BJ or his insurgent warm-blooded friends from crawling down my bedroom wall, however I returned home to find that BJ defiantly removed the rag in less than 24 hours.  If he is eating rags he is now the size of a small goat.  God help us all.

P.P.S. In breaking news, I learned today that BJ did not eat the enormous wall lizard as I had hoped.  Rather the lizard, Akkebif, has taken up residence in my front wall and is leaving me nightly “presents” in my shower. Awesome.  It seems as though BJ and said lizard are in alliance and have created an axis of evil.  They may have won this battle but the war is not over yet.