Ok, I get it.  Obama is awesome.  Despite my lack of proximity within the past 8 months I hear he walks on water; he must if he is winning a Nobel Peace Prize after less than a year in office. 

I’m sure no one is jumping to conclusions and ASSUMING he is going to solve all of the world’s problems – like nuclear disarmament and peace in the Middle East.  Just because we have been dealing with those pesky issues for decades I’m sure he will have it figured out by the end of his first term in office… if not by then, at least by his second- that’s when everything gets done anyways. 

And, Zimbabwean Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai, I mean, what’s he done lately?  Other than ensuring that Zimbabwe doesn’t break into civil war by powersharing with megalomaniac President Mugabe while helping stabilize their rollercoaster economy… Who needs a Nobel Peace Prize for actual achievement when you can get one for your intentions? 

I hear that Miss America wants world peace; does that qualify her for a Nobel Peace Prize now?  

Former President and Founding Father of the Namibian nation, Dr. Sam Nujoma, recently verbalized his xenophobia for Caucasians; specifically the British, American, and German people. Nujoma who allegedly made xenophobic remarks in the past continued this trend with the following comments at a recent election rally for ruling party, Swapo.

Nujoma accused whites of having “provoked us for too long”, having no respect for the truth, and being poisonous like a mamba snake.  Furthermore, he stated that the American and British people and governments are criminals, adding: “ngele mwa mono omwInglisa dhengeni komutse” which translates from Oshiwambo to “If you see an English person club him/her to the head.”

Dr. Nujoma urged Namibian youth to be educated in order not to be misled by American and British imperialists and called on Namibians to be ready to fight against imperialists.

I do not deny that the U.S. and England make unpopular political decisions that have a global impact however I find it amazing that someone of Dr. Nujoma’s position and influence could paint a negative portrayal of an entire race of people with a single brushstroke.  This situation reminds me of the adage, “with great power comes great responsibility.”  Clearly Nujoma would rather use his power to incite a nation to hate than reconciliation. 

I find it interesting that Nujoma’s comments are directed at white people that are essentially periphery players in Namibian politics.  Nujoma’s resentment seems misplaced as he is harboring malcontent towards the British due to their colonization of Zimbabwe, a nation, which earned its democratic freedom almost 30 years ago.  Additionally, his dislike of the German population dates back to the German-Herero War that took place in the early 1900s.  Yet, considering that Namibia won its freedom from an apartheid government less than 2 decades ago one would think that Nujoma might air his frustration with the white Afrikaner population who subjugated an entire population to apartheid policies, permitted human suffering, and repressed generations of Africans from realizing their full potential. 

Despite Nujoma’s irrational tirade I do agree that the Namibian youth should insist on education to promote free thinkers who seek the truth.  The time has come for a future generation to take control of their lives and persevere to get the best possible education that Namibia can provide them. 

An afternoon in Windhoek is like a journey to Middle America. In essence you cease to forget that you live in Africa and your quaint town doesn’t have the most simple of luxuries as you slurp down a double thick chocolate malt with a side of nachos and cheese quesadillas at the local Spur. I know what you are thinking, ‘Tex-Mex in Namibia, impossible!’ Alas, it is true and there are many other pleasures in this land of plenty.

Where would Middle America be without the local mall to wile away the hours? Don’t say that America never gave the world anything. It has left its imprint on sub-Saharan Africa with the concept of shopping as a national pastime.

We can’t leave out Hollywood. How else would the world get their distorted view of Americans except through film? You can watch America through rose-colored glasses with a box of popcorn and a large coke at the local movie theater. Don’t think I didn’t enjoy it. I did. Immensely. I’m not ashamed to admit that I spent N$50 on a movie ticket to see the sixth Harry Potter movie and N$8 on two bags of sour gummy worms.

I arrived at the movie early and scoped out my seat. I found a great location, got comfy, and ripped open my bag of gummy worms. Life doesn’t get much better in the eyes of a PCV. Unfortunately my rose colored glasses were about to be ripped off my face and crushed by a group of 8 white Afrikaaners. The group trooped down the row to find only 5 available seats, turned, stared at me, and said, “You should move.” I responded, incredulously, “Are you kidding me?!?” Yet they continued to stand in front of me and stare as though this was a reasonable and appropriate request. As they clearly did not plan on moving and I did not want to watch the film with an Afrikaaner blocking my view I stood up, stomped over the chair, and moved to the EMPTY row behind me.

So, there you have it. My rose colored glasses were shattered by white Africans. One insignificant interaction with a group of Namibians opened my eyes to the undercurrent of entitlement and privilege that still runs strong despite the fact that the colonial era ended two decades ago.

I like nature… as long as it stays outside where it belongs.  It was not too long ago when I would have taken a shoe and beaten the shit out of anything creepy or crawly that would have come within 10 yards of me.  Now?  Eh… Unless it is going to send it’s poison coursing through my veins and dispatch me to an early death I am ok with it… again, as long as it stays outside where it belongs. 

This being said nature broke our uneasy truce the other night and ventured inside the inner sanctum, MY BEDROOM, in effect saying a big fuck you to my unspoken rule.  A lizard crawled across the wall and took up residence at approximately 9:15 PM. I know what you are thinking, “Why are you scared of a little lizard?  Aren’t those the cute animals that little boys and girls have as their first pets?”

And my retort is “Exactly.”  Lizards are gateway reptiles.  First it’s a cute little lizard prancing across the wall, then it’s a black mamba snake curled up in my armoire, followed by a crocodile snapping it’s hungry jaws under my bed hoping for a midnight snack. 

That is why you just have to say no to lizards.  JUST SAY NO.  They are going to lead you down a dark alleyway; tempt you with their forked tongues, their tiny three toed pointy jester feet, and their beguiling eyes.  But you must resist! 

I must tell you it was not easy getting that sucker out of my room without waking the house.  I coaxed, I swatted, I prodded; finally after almost two hours of glaring at the little bugger I managed to lure him over to the window and used my flip-flop to propel him out the window and to his destiny, hopefully as an after dinner snack for the dog.

Score: 1, Singular Girl

Score: Big Fat Zero, Nature

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah…  Didn’t the voting American public shame you into hiding after the presidential election or are you peeking your head out with the groundhog to see how conservatism is faring?  

In case you can’t see Texas from your porch, I wanted to let you in on a little news.  Not all women from Texas are crazed conservatives.  Some of us have the ability to think for ourselves and formulate our own opinion on who to vote for in the 2010 gubernatorial race.  In fact, we don’t need the opinion of a former beauty queen to validate our election decision because I’m pretty sure we know how to pencil in a round circle next to a candidate’s name without a "how to" session from Wasilla’s finest.  

Clearly McCain’s remedial government class didn’t increase your knowledge about the general election process so I’ll spell it out slowly for you.  YOU CAN NOT VOTE IN TEXAS.  IF YOU CAN’T SPELL GUBERNATORIAL THEN YOU AREN’T ALLOWED TO HAVE AN OPINION ON ANY UPCOMING ELECTIONS.   

Please.  Return to your snowdrift.  We prefer to think of this past vice-presidential "situation" as an ugly farce that should not be spoken of again.

I have succumbed to a meme posting.  Please do not judge me…

The rules are as follows:

1. Go to your documents

2. Go to your 6th picture file folder

3. Go to your 6th picture 

4. Blog about it

Seems easy enough.  

Alas, this is what I discovered- Tony Bennett and guests.  The 6th folder in my photos file holds photos from my previous life- fundraiser and paparazzi on occasion.  This particular photo was taken after one of the worst sponsorship snafus of my career.  

I was handed the sponsor stewardship after my colleague unceremoniously departed from the organization mere weeks before the sponsored concert. What then occurred is something that one hopes never to deal with in their career.

Snafu Number 1.  The sponsor’s concert tickets were supposedly on hold months in advance but when I went to retrieve them from the box office they had been mysteriously sold.  I then scrambled to find 20 seats in the hall (a difficult feat as the entire concert was sold out).  My efforts were for naught as the sponsor was still upset that the seats were sporadically spread across the Loge level.  

Snafu Number 2. I then went about planning the sponsor’s intermission reception only to learn the morning of the concert that Tony Bennett does not take an intermission.  This resulted in me scrambling around and switching the intermission reception to a post-concert reception and frantically calling all of the donors in attendance at the concert and begging them to stay after the concert for cocktails and dessert.  

Ah, if only this were the end of the story…

Snafu Number 3, 4, and beyond. I proceeded to cater to the sponsor and their guests from the moment they walked in the concert hall doors until the bitter end.  I listened to them complain about the size of their logo on pre-concert advertising, I endured their wrath about the fact that there wasn’t a Playbill with their logo displayed prominently, and nodded with regret that not all of their guests could attend the post-concert meet and greet with Tony Bennett.  

I might add, that the sponsor had every right to be frustrated and angry about the confluence of events that turned their sponsorship into a circus.  Albeit that the snafus were out of my initial control however it was still my job to fix them and take the brunt of the anger directed at the organization for such a poorly executed sponsorship.   

It’s difficult to feel the animosity seeping through the camera lens in this photo.  However, at 11:30 at night all I really wanted to do was to capture their souls and imprison them in my digital camera to avoid any further confrontation. 

Ahhh, memories.  Don’t you just love memes?  This little reminder of my past life makes me extraordinarily happy that a) I’m currently unemployed and b) that my future job does not require me to handhold donors.  

Since Sue Johanson, Oxygen’s septugenarian sex talk show host, retired from her highly rated "Talk Sex" show in May of 2008 the airwaves have been sorely lacking in sexual aid and tips.  Alas, you need not fret any longer.  TLC is taking up the torch and filling in the gap with a new show "Mother Knows Sex".  From the channel that dispels fashion advice, personal justice, and bridal wear you can now tune in to watch its newest show "Mother Knows Sex" which boasts a typical Midwestern housewife, a devoted churchgoer and mother of four who has created a multi-million dollar sex toy empire alongside her adult children. 

Perhaps TLC is taking the advice that "sex always sells" even in a floundering economy. I personally can’t wait to hear about the success of the show; too bad I won’t be able to get TLC from my hut in Africa because this is one show that I am loathe to miss! 

On the eve of election day the media is gauging how Saddam Hussein’s verdict, lower gas prices, and the incremental decrease in unemployment will effect the midterm elections.

Some Republicans are viewing Saddam’s death penalty as a vindication of Bush..s decision to go to war. Bush’s stump speeches hail his decision to remove the Iraqi leader from power and argues that the world is better.

It is unarguable that Saddam Hussein was a power-driven and egomanical leader who placed his own needs over the needs of the Iraqi people and he used his position to commit crimes against humanity.

However, does Bush get to claim this verdict as a victory for the Republican party? Does incompetent foreign policy that brings down a war criminal still count as a victory when the Iraqis have simply traded a dictator for chaos?

If we are to find an issue that will truly effect the vote this election day, I propose that we ask our commander-in-chief, where is the war criminal that masterminded 9/11? Where are the weapons of mass destruction? My guess? North Korea.

Don’t be a statistic, get out and vote tomorrow.

http://web.amnesty.org/pages/irq-061106-news-eng

So my typical drive home from work is spent listening to All Things Considered punctuated by bouts of screamed obscenities at the crazed maniac that perpetually cuts me off in traffic and gramps in the lane next to me who insists on driving 25 miles an hour but somehow manages to keep me from changing lanes… Today I managed to rein in the road rage to listen to an interesting newsclip about All Saints Episcopal Church in CA. Apparently they are in danger of losing their tax-exempt status for former rector, Rev. George Regas, delivering an anti-war sermon leading up to the 2004 elections… this investigation comes at an apropos time with the November elections upon us. In case you aren’t versed in the federal tax code that outlines what nonprofits can and can not do, here is a quick history lesson.

From the founding of the country until 1954, churches and other nonprofit organizations were permitted to endorse or oppose candidates for political office. That changed in 1954 when proposed legislation amended the Internal Revenue Code to prohibit nonprofit organizations, including churches, from endorsing or opposing political candidates.

The Internal Revenue Code now expressly prohibits churches and other nonprofit organizations from directly endorsing or opposing political candidates. From 1954 to the present, only one church has ever lost its IRS tax-exempt letter ruling for opposing Bill Clinton for President in 1992.

So, where does this leave us? If All Saints Episcopal does lose it’s tax-exempt status it loses a major source of revenue to the church coiffers since it will no longer be considered a 501(c)4 and potentially anyone who has received a tax deduction from a donation to the church could be audited and assessed a fee on the rolled back charitable donation deduction. So, I know you’re thinking, "blah, blah, blah… Aren’t our first amendment rights important, this is just a blatant exercise by the government to keep the people from voicing their opinions!"

Normally I would agree and jump on the "bash the government" bandwagon but I am so fed up with churches telling parishoners how to vote- it is no longer a first amendment issue but a marketing tool for pastors to push their candidates from the pulpit. Because, of course, if a pastor says "Bush is God’s choice for president!" how many people would stand up, think for themselves, and say, "Really? God’s choice? I didn’t think God was partisan."

This doesn’t mean that I have a problem with churches standing up for their beliefs, go ahead and feed the children in Africa, support the war in Iraq, preach on the moral indignation of homosexuality and abortion; just don’t tell people to pray that Bush becomes president. Pastors can even personally endorse, work for, or contribute to political candidates. Again, I say, don’t use the two feet that you stand higher on your podium than the congregation to espouse your "righteous" politicizing.

Thank you, Good Night, and God Bless. 

Dan Dodd’s Congressional brochure reads "Tough, Smart Leadership for a Strong America". He also suggests that the important issues that Congress should be spending it’s time on include "The Iraq War, hurricane disaster relief, global warming, energy innovation and oil independence, national security and balancing the budget". Yet he barely touched on any of these issues at the latest political fad, the house party- an event for the politically inclined.

You might have guessed that I attended such an event; you would be correct. This weekend was not all about flipping my hair and fluttering my lashes at the latest boy toy, I like totally tried to be deep, cuz ya know, politics are like totally important!

In the latest political coup, Dan Dodd is trying to kick Republican incumbent, Sam Johnson, to the curb. Unfortunately, he’s got about as much chance of overthrowing a Republican in the Bible Belt as Mel Gibson does of converting to Judaism.

Though, it may appear that I’m bashing a liberal candidacy I just have to say that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Dodd is certainly intelligent and polished in the art of gladhanding, but he has about as strong of a resume for a Congressional stint as Ben Affleck. The majority of his speech was filled with one-liners about pushing Johnson out of the race because "he would have to stand upon his record." Ok, so? In a town full of conservatives a Congressman who votes 98% of the time with Bush is considered a good thing. Unless he killed an intern in a seedy hotel room while voting to increase taxes and allow gay marriage In the conservative minds of N. TX are unlikely to sway their votes.

Dodd also managed to sprinkle in some short sound bites about the latest Democratic buzzword, global warming. I don’t doubt the implications of the impending climate change, brought on by our dependence on oil and fossil fuels, but I believe there is very little we can do about it in our lifetimes. Buy a fuel-efficient car and use energy saving light bulbs if you’re feeling guilty about slowly killing our planet!

Though I’m all for finding long term solutions to major ecological problems we have to focus on what HIV/AIDS or other global issues will do to the human population if not controlled. Can we handle losing the AIDS pandemic that is decimating sub-Saharan African (20 million victims and counting)? Rather than spending $50 billion dollars a year to convince industries to "go green!" I think our tax dollars would be better-spent fixing problems (HIV/AIDS, malaria, poverty) that have foreseeable solutions.

Thus I am going to step off my soapbox and head to the voting polls in November to vote for my candidate, Eddie Bernice Johnson, and hope that we can count on a politician in any political office to deliver more than one-liners on major issues. I know, I know, I’ll keep dreaming…